NewYorkSteve (newyorksteve) wrote,

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We Attack!!! Attack Attack With Pesticide

I just saw ... the BIGGEST cockroach I've ever seen in my life! Crawling ... through my bedroom door ... towards my bed where I lay ... faster than you can incomprehensibly say through the terror, "Uhh, UHH, UHHHHHH!" I crushed it under the first thing I could find - which just so happened to be a brand-new copy of Chuck Klosterman's book "IV" - and it's still there. Under the book; I'm afraid to move it. I'm considering just buying a new copy and leaving this one here as a shrine to my Quick Thinking. Seriously dude, this roach was bigger than my foot and it was making googoo eyes at my sanity. I keep looking at the book expecting it to get up and attack me, with the roach - having somehow learned the English language - screaming, "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT, BITCH???"

Before all this trauma, I was 50% considering making it an early evening (at 4 in the morning, but still). Now, I don't think I'll sleep for another 274 hours and 52 minutes. Ever seen that movie Creepshow, where the guy goes crazy because millions and millions of cockroaches have taken over? Yeah, that's not funny! I am that guy!

My main concern right now is that I don't have enough books.

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