NewYorkSteve (newyorksteve) wrote,
NewYorkSteve
newyorksteve

Richie Sexson Sucks: Balls, or, The Mariners Bring Da Sodo Mojo to Yankee Stadium

You Gotta Love These Guys!
Two Outs, So What!?
Refuse To Lose!!!

To set up the scene, it's the top of the sixth inning with two outs. We're down 2-0. The Mariners finally have something going after being shut down for most of the day. Runners on first and second base, the starter has been pulled in favor of someone by the name of Scott Proctor. I've been listening to a couple yahoos behind me saying how the hitter currently stepping up to the plate is garbage, the guy with the .154 batting average and the 4 homers who's making $15.5 million this season (THIS SEASON!). The table is set. A three-run home run gives us the lead, gets this game to a battle of the bullpens, and allows me to turn around and rub my shit in these two jackasses faces!

And then Richie Sexson hits a weak grounder to the short stop. Threat over, inning over, game over.

And I'd just like to go on record by saying that Scarlett Johansson screwed me again (and not in that kind of way I'd cut off my left arm to achieve). In the KJR AM Bigger Dance, I should be tied for 36th place (out of more than 25,000 participants) had I simply taken Elin Nordegren to do battle in the Final Four. It's down to the final two, I have both women going, but I have a feeling it's going to be a landslide Jessica Alba victory over Maria Sharapova.

Anyway, yes, I'm still bitter. I guess I shouldn't be. After all, what did I expect? Stiff competition from my baseball team? Har har, it is to laugh. I just hate those fucking Yankees SO MUCH! Whatever. We have to win today. I know that's asking a lot of Miguel Batista, but pulling a 2-2 out of our asses on this 4-game stand would be more than I ever could've hoped for.

And if Jeff Weaver starts one more fucking game where he gives up more runs than innings he pitches, I'm going to take a sledgehammer to Mike Hargrove's skull.
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