NewYorkSteve (newyorksteve) wrote,

Lunchtime Follies

I left my lunch sitting on the kitchen counter this morning. Now, I'm making due with ample cups of hot chocolate. When the pressure's on and there's survival afoot, what's my best-known instinct to get me through the rough times? Anybody? Anybody? Bueller? I employ this stratagy after a long night of drinking and I want to make my company believe that I'm sleepier than I really am?

That's right, I've got my stomach playing possum for me today. On a normal day where I've successfully packed my lunch and carried it to my destination of work, I'm hungry by 10:30 or so, eventually succumbing to my lack of will power around 11 or 11:30. However, today nary a pang has wracked my tummy.

This throws gallons of fuel on the theory that hunger is almost all mental. You THINK you should be hungry because it's "Lunch Time" - whatever arbitrary time you've set up in your mind as being the proper time to eat your lunch-type meal of that day - or because you've gone so-many hours in between foodstuffs. However, if you're in a situation where you know you don't have food and you know there won't be food forthcoming for many hours (like, for instance, when a moron goes to all the trouble of making his lunch that morning and packs it in a grocery bag only to turn around, jam both thumbs up his ass, and walk right out of the apartment none the wiser), that instinct of it being, "Time to eat, better start getting hungry because food's coming soon" just goes right out the third story window.

Does it take its effect on your body? Oh sure. Fortunately for me, A. I've made a lifetime out of being entirely worthless during the daylight hours, so I have a little experience in this realm; and B. I'm at a job where it doesn't require me to be worthwhile whatsoever. And, just to show you how the lack of ingested energy has taken its toll, as I was writing Point A. in that last sentence, I nearly forgot what I was going to write for Point B.

Of course, leave it to the know-it-alls to totally discount my own personal theory on this topic: two oven-toasted Frosted Cherry Pop Tarts will fill you up right so you don't even NEED a two-sandwich lunch to successfully roll you through the day. What I'm trying to say is that I want to live at the Pop Tarts factory in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

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