7 Days, 11 Hours, 57 Minutes
I was almost asleep last night, I'd rolled over my customary 2,000 times, had the blanket in a position where it was providing just the perfect amount of warmth, my pillow was in its proper place providing support and comfort for my head. I could feel myself drifting off. Thoughts of naked sex seemlessly blended in with puppies and kittens playing together, planets orbiting giant mushrooms, and the occasional murderous drug-abusing clown-mailman going postal on a village of Smurfs. I was almost at that state between losing consciousness and utter REM sleep ...
And then strippers and hookers and gambling crept into my head and I was wide awake once again!
At this point next week, I'm going to be drooling on the floor of my office. I'm pretty sure I'll just walk around with an all-day boner and people will be looking at me and saying to their partners, "He must be going to Las Vegas."
And I'll doff my cap and say in a pleasing Cockney accent, "Why yes I am, I am, I am! Twelve hours from know I'll be shagging pros and puffing fags!"
In no way did that sentence sound appropriate.
Oh, so you want to know what pisses me right the fuck off? I turned on the TV last night, and I'm flipping through the channel guide, and I pass by channel 62. Only, there is no channel 62. The guide goes from 61 (Building Security channel that has an everlasting black screen) and 63 (FX).
Channel 62 was IFC - the Independent Film Channel. And fucking Broadstripe took it away from me! Free movies with cussing and no commercials and occasional tits and ass! And they had The Whitest Kids U Know and now that I know them from Sasquatch I've been meaning to watch their shows and I've only been able to watch one in the last week and now it's GONE!
Fuck Broadstripe Cable. I can't wait to move the fuck out of Beacon Hill forever so I never have to be subjected to Broadstripe ever again. They blow harder than 50 guys and 50 gals blowing 200 guys at the same time. In fact, I want you to think of Broadstripe - if you're ever unfortunate enough to be exposed to one of their asinine commercials - to think of 100 people each with two hard, throbbing cocks in their mouths. That's Broadstripe. 200 dicks coming at the same time on 100 people's faces.
Not only is their Internet so shitty that you seemingly can never stream anything live, but they take away one of the only television-worthy channels on television. Why? 200 dicks, that's why.
I don't care if Comcast is a giant, faceless, evil corporation. At least they know what the fuck they're doing and give you a fucking product you can use! They don't give you IFC and then take it away like a bunch of fucking mongoloids. Fucking Broadstripe.
I didn't mean to go off on a rant there, but there you have it.
I bowled like crap last night too. My last-game 263 was okay (but could've easily been in the 280s if I hadn't blown it in the 10th); my 2nd game 152 was abysmal; and my first game 220 never quite felt right. By the way, this was my 9-pin no-tap week where if you get a 9 on the first roll it counts as a strike. Otherwise those scores would be amazing.
And then strippers and hookers and gambling crept into my head and I was wide awake once again!
At this point next week, I'm going to be drooling on the floor of my office. I'm pretty sure I'll just walk around with an all-day boner and people will be looking at me and saying to their partners, "He must be going to Las Vegas."
And I'll doff my cap and say in a pleasing Cockney accent, "Why yes I am, I am, I am! Twelve hours from know I'll be shagging pros and puffing fags!"
In no way did that sentence sound appropriate.
Oh, so you want to know what pisses me right the fuck off? I turned on the TV last night, and I'm flipping through the channel guide, and I pass by channel 62. Only, there is no channel 62. The guide goes from 61 (Building Security channel that has an everlasting black screen) and 63 (FX).
Channel 62 was IFC - the Independent Film Channel. And fucking Broadstripe took it away from me! Free movies with cussing and no commercials and occasional tits and ass! And they had The Whitest Kids U Know and now that I know them from Sasquatch I've been meaning to watch their shows and I've only been able to watch one in the last week and now it's GONE!
Fuck Broadstripe Cable. I can't wait to move the fuck out of Beacon Hill forever so I never have to be subjected to Broadstripe ever again. They blow harder than 50 guys and 50 gals blowing 200 guys at the same time. In fact, I want you to think of Broadstripe - if you're ever unfortunate enough to be exposed to one of their asinine commercials - to think of 100 people each with two hard, throbbing cocks in their mouths. That's Broadstripe. 200 dicks coming at the same time on 100 people's faces.
Not only is their Internet so shitty that you seemingly can never stream anything live, but they take away one of the only television-worthy channels on television. Why? 200 dicks, that's why.
I don't care if Comcast is a giant, faceless, evil corporation. At least they know what the fuck they're doing and give you a fucking product you can use! They don't give you IFC and then take it away like a bunch of fucking mongoloids. Fucking Broadstripe.
I didn't mean to go off on a rant there, but there you have it.
I bowled like crap last night too. My last-game 263 was okay (but could've easily been in the 280s if I hadn't blown it in the 10th); my 2nd game 152 was abysmal; and my first game 220 never quite felt right. By the way, this was my 9-pin no-tap week where if you get a 9 on the first roll it counts as a strike. Otherwise those scores would be amazing.