February 26th, 2009


One More Week

Four quarters to the season, one winner for each quarter advances to the final four, one more week to grab destiny by the throat and squeeze until the capillaries explode into its eyeballs.

It was glorious last night; never have I been so focused on the bowling lanes. As an added wrinkle, the entirety of our opposing team pre-bowled - that is to say, they bowled a day or two earlier because they were busy last night. So, we knew exactly what we needed to get before I rolled the first ball. They scored 950 as a team in the first game, 935 in the second, and 930 in the third - these scores, mind you, incorporate their handicap, and since they're better than us, they have to give us an additional 90 pins or so each game.

With the pressure off, it's easy to rest on those laurels and think you're going to coast to victory. Well, I wasn't ABOUT to let that happen. Bam, bowled a 192 in the first game, punctuated with three strikes in the 10th frame to remove any doubt of victory for the rest of my teammates who bowl after me (we ended up winning by about 45 that game). My subsequent effort? 199, thanks to the fact that I rolled an 8 on my last roll in the 10th frame. Again, no contest, we won by a solid 60. I got a little tired, a little sloppy in my third game, but still pulled out a 178 for another easy victory going away in the 10th.

To be fair, now, the girls on our team did particularly well, especially in the first two games. Jake, flying spaghetti monster-bless him, he tried his best, but was unable to best his average until Game 3. But, that didn't matter; I had him covered.

As I've most likely mentioned many times before, I started this league averaging a lowly 120. As of last night, I finally caught up to Jake, with a 153 affair. That should only increase after the night I had last night - two games 40 pins above my average, another 25 over. But, that's not the big news.

The standings going into last night had us 1/2 game over a team called Austin Chiropractic and 1 full game over this bitch-ass team that goes by We Need Bumpers - this is the same bitch-ass team who complained about my toe going over the line a few times when we beat their asses a month ago. Since then, I've adjusted my game, haven't gone over the line but one time, and managed to raise my average 6 points. Well, we the mighty members of Bowlshit started the night in first place at 16-8. After going 4-0 (including a point for total pins), we now stand at 20-8 with a near stranglehold on first. Austin Chiropractic, at 15 1/2 and 8 1/2 lost all four of their games to fall out of contention with one more week to go. The bitch-asses, however, won three of four to sit at 18-10.

Which is interesting, because I didn't know this until last night - mostly because our team hasn't sniffed anywhere NEAR first place through the first two quarters - the final week of the quarter doesn't go according to schedule. It goes according to ranking. 1 plays 2, 3 plays 4, 5 plays 6, and so on and so forth.

With a 2-game advantage and 4 points on the line next week, Bowlshit plays the bitch-asses for the right to land in the Final Four. All we have to do is win 2 points, any combination of two single-game victories or one single game and a total points victory. This is do-able, but no less daunting. That bitch-ass team has been on a stone roll since the last time we played them - and even then they were doing very well for themselves, I just happened to be bowling out of my mind, what with the crazy advantage I have by sticking my toe over the line. It's concerning, and my hatred for them only concerns me more.

BUT! I have to look past all of that. It's one more week, one more chance at glory. I. Can't. Let. My. Team. Lose. And I won't. I don't care if I have to go over 200 points all three games, I won't let Bowlshit be denied. Plenty of room on my back for everyone, so hop aboard.
  • Current Music
    Gipsy Kings - Hotel California