October 6th, 2008

Don't Hassle the Hoff

On The Biking Trail

It's raining. Welcome to the O.C., bitch.

I'm not going to test the ride, because I'm fairly confident I know where I'm going (and because it's raining, bitch), but I will eventually have to get out there and test the air pressure in my tires. And fix the chain. And affix my new Kryptonite lock to the seat.

Yes, you got it! Prime bike riding weather! Comin' atcha!

You should've seen the spending splurge I went on this afternoon on my lunch break at Play It Again Sports (and not REI). New helmet: $40, New lock: $50, New rain jacket: $70, New rain pants: $30, New tire cover (to prevent splash-back): $15. That's over 2 Benjamin's! All so I can do this:

Start out going North on 14th Ave S. for 0.8 mi.
Slight Left onto Golf Dr. S. for 0.1 mi.
Turns into 12th Ave S. for 0.5 mi.
Slight Left onto Boren Ave. S. for 1.3 mi.
Left onto Stewart St. for 0.2 mi.
End @ 7th & Stewart for a grand total of 2.9 miles

Since I'm avoiding the whole 4th Avenue fiasco - which would take me past the stadia, up hills, and immersed in bus-like traffic - I should have an easier go of things. And since I'm no longer riding that God-foresaken 36 bus - with the tons of stops and unnecessary turns through the International District - it shouldn't take me over 40 minutes to go 3 miles. I mean SERIOUSLY, 40 minutes! And that's TO work! On the way home, it invariably takes closer to 50 or 60 minutes. TO GO THREE MILES@$!^#!ampersand*!

Quick, name the five types of descrimination covered by the Civil Rights Act of 1964!!!! Can't do it, can you? Go ahead, try and guess, I'll give you a minute.

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I learned all that at my Diversity Training today at work. Only in America! Only in America do they get the privileged corporate elite into a room to teach them how to not be bigger assholes. What is it about cities like Seattle and San Francisco and Los Angeles and New York and all the rest? Why do people here get it, but you go down to Birmingham and they're nothing but redneck fucksticks? Or, shit man, just leave any urban center and all of a sudden you're surrounded by morons!

Of course, I'm not saying the liberals are any better. I watched one of these new SNL clips where Tina Fey is playing Sarah Palin. From a comedy standpoint, the jokes were mediocre at best. But, the audience was laughing like it was the funniest thing they've ever heard ever! Liberals, man, they're always so on edge around election time. It derives from knowing you know what's best for everyone, and yet the majority of Americans won't let you have your say. Now, this isn't one of these rants where I'm saying we should all try to see things on the other foot, because I tend to agree with 90% of what liberals have to say. But, you know what? There's a reason why we haven't had a real liberal president since the Carter administration. You can't connect with people if you keep revealing yourselves as know-it-all conceited assholes. That includes laughing at jokes poking fun at Republicans that are patently unfunny, jokes that would die like a stale fart in any other non-election year. That includes everything behind the new Bill Maher documentary "Religulous".

I have no use for religion, but I'm hard pressed to tell everyone else they shouldn't have any use for it either. Just don't push it on me and I'm cool. You can't say religion is useless because it HAS done a lot of good, whether you like it or not. A lot of fucked up people have managed to clean themselves up through practicing religion. The basic moral fiber of society is grounded on values expressed in most religions. Be good to your neighbor. Don't steal shit, don't murder, don't fuck someone who doesn't want to be fucked, etc. This is all good stuff! Of course, athiests take this for granted; we should be good people because we WANT to be good, not because some book or some fake god tells us to.

It's too bad - at least from what little I've seen in clips and read about in reviews - that Maher comes off as a giant prick. I agree with what he has to say much of the time, but a documentary like "Jesus Camp" goes 100 times further than some second-rate stand up comedian making fun of foreigners and zealots for 100 minutes. This film - were it more popular - would do what Fahrenheit 911 did in 2004: nothing. Preaching to the choir accomplishes nothing, don'tcha know.
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