March 19th, 2008


That Time I Bowled A 175

I won 11 cents in my savings account last month because I had nearly $800 sitting there. At this rate, I should be a millionaire in about two more years.

Man, the dog-days of an election year are really long and boring. Every time I turn on the cable news it sounds like they're grasping at straws to come up with enough content to round out their day. And I don't know who produces these news segments, but can't they do better than showing the same 10-second loop of clips when they're talking about a candidate behind his back? It's 2008, we've been televising things for decades, you couldn't possibly tell me you don't have more film in the can than that same 10-second loop you keep playing on repeat for five minutes straight!

So, if the Huskies lose today in the first round of the College Basketball Invitational tournament, will that be the biggest upset in the history of the CBI? A four beating a one seed in the first round IS pretty huge. Like, Milton Berle huge.

I hate not having a treadmill. It's not even the cold, I can get by with a 40-degree morning. It's not even the elements, I haven't had to run in the rain once. It's not even the getting up early because of the loathesome commute. It's the sidewalks. Even with my new running shoes making my feet feel like they're running on clouds, with the sidewalks it feels like they're cement-filled clouds. I don't see how marathon runners do it, my ankles and knees throb to a rediculous degree when I'm not on a treadmill or a soft grassy field.

Counting down the months.

Yesterday was my birthday, and you know what that means: Ice Cream Cake from Dairy Queen. Followed that up with some Day-Old Daily Show and Colbert Report before hitting the sack. What a way to end a day.

The sporting world is abuzz over my score of 175 last Friday. I can't blame them, it's got to be the single greatest drunken achievement in my career as a sportsman. Sure there was the time I was walking down Montlake bicep curling a 5-pound weight; and of course who could forget the countless times I've cleared a billiards table when before I could seemingly hit nothing anywhere near a hole. There was my not drowning in the Punchbowl in Port Angeles, there have been my many sprinting jags from would-be Steve Babysitters, and I'm sure Mark's head is still ringing from the time we wrestled to a draw. But nothing, NOTHING, will compare to me bowling a 175 last Friday at Tower Lanes.

First of all, let me just put this out there, since I started with my two-fingered bowling technique in 2005, the highest score I've ever been able to achieve was something around a 133, in Bellevue, vs. Mark and Mario (I'd have to go back and check my records, but I think that's a pretty fair estimate) after the day of Snow-Shoeing. Secondly, whenever I've bowled 3 games in a row, that third game is almost always among my worst. Third, after having a few beers at home beforehand, the pitchers of Budweiser were flowing like wine all throughout my trips to Lane 6 and back.

Precedence of sucking + precedence of ending on a bad note + increased consumption of alcohol = Best Round Ever. Don't ask me how the world works. I just know that I've turned a corner in my bowling career, and I'm not afraid of the bad voodoo coming back to haunt me this Friday when my bowling skills will be put to the "test" against a sizable contingent of 4-West Alumni.

Hear Me Now: I Am Your Bowling Jesus! I'm The Best There's Ever Been! I've got a 175 under my belt (and drunken witnesses) to prove it!