We Control Reality / We Control Your Chemistry Baby
Standing in Hell's Kitchen - where they hang t-shirts for sale that read "Tacoma: The Reason I Drink" - behind the little half-wall separating the bar area from the band-merch-4-sale area, I contemplated the fact that I was at least 10 years older than most of the people here for this All Ages show. That little half-wall was all I needed to see to know where I stood. I'm no longer young, I'm no longer relevant, I'm no longer immersed in the cutting-edge of music and fashion. Standing there in my leather jacket, with my balding head, my week's beard growth, with a Newcastle in hand, I became very resentful.
Where was MY Hell's Kitchen when I was in high school trying to see how long I could grow out my hair before it drove me crazy? Where was I allowed to congregate with music-loving friends that I didn't have (I had friends, but not the rabid music-loving fans like me, who'd headbang to heavy metal music until it gave them headaches)?
Part of me now thinks, why does there have to be such a thing as All Ages Shows? I know it makes the bands more money, so I guess that's okay. But, they're fucking crowding me! When I saw the Schoolyard Heroes in New York, the only people in attendance were the other bands and their girlfriends. I had room to jump around, get to the front of the stage, it was great! Here, in Hell's Kitchen, I was lucky to get to a side where my view wasn't obstructed by a giant pole in the middle of the room.
Just as I'm readying my voodoo pox on all people under 21, I notice on one of the TV screens a commercial for Warm 106.9 and like the Grinch before me, my heart grew three sizes that day. Yes, these kids need Hell's Kitchen. They need all-ages shows. They need to get out of the house, congregate amidst a gathering of other like-pierced individuals, and listen to shitty bands scream at them for hours.
That is, until the Schoolyard Heroes came on. Sure, they scream sometimes, but when it comes from Ryann's voice, it's sheer poetry. I wish she was everywhere I was, screaming at my co-workers, tucking me in at night with her eye-liner running and sweat dripping down her tattered dress.
And get this! They actually played a 2-song acoustic set! I shit you not, the two guitarists and Ryann all sat on chairs and played a couple of songs I've since forgotten the names to, but it worked surprisingly well!
Once I had six or seven beers in me (which took the duration of the three shitty bands before them), I was feeling more at ease with the All Ages around me. What once was a hinderance to my enjoyment became a reason to play protector as there were two 8 year old girls behind me - her dad having left to hit the moshing side of the crowd - and a surging crowd in front of me trying to start shit with their Circle Pits and whatnot.
These fans are hardcore though. They even have the claps memorized from the Dude, Where's My Skin song on the new album. It was awesome, if not a little creepy. Was that 9 claps or 10?
After the show, as they were herding the young-uns out - "If you're not buying shirts, it's time to go" - I waited around a bit, closed out my tab, and went over to buy a t-shirt from the band. I got this white one with what appears to be a giant, dark blood stain running down from the neck area; like somebody slit my throat from ear to ear. It's pretty sweet, it has Schoolyard Heroes spelled out in spattered blood as well. I don't know if I want to wear it or buy a mannequin with a knife sticking out of its neck.
Where was MY Hell's Kitchen when I was in high school trying to see how long I could grow out my hair before it drove me crazy? Where was I allowed to congregate with music-loving friends that I didn't have (I had friends, but not the rabid music-loving fans like me, who'd headbang to heavy metal music until it gave them headaches)?
Part of me now thinks, why does there have to be such a thing as All Ages Shows? I know it makes the bands more money, so I guess that's okay. But, they're fucking crowding me! When I saw the Schoolyard Heroes in New York, the only people in attendance were the other bands and their girlfriends. I had room to jump around, get to the front of the stage, it was great! Here, in Hell's Kitchen, I was lucky to get to a side where my view wasn't obstructed by a giant pole in the middle of the room.
Just as I'm readying my voodoo pox on all people under 21, I notice on one of the TV screens a commercial for Warm 106.9 and like the Grinch before me, my heart grew three sizes that day. Yes, these kids need Hell's Kitchen. They need all-ages shows. They need to get out of the house, congregate amidst a gathering of other like-pierced individuals, and listen to shitty bands scream at them for hours.
That is, until the Schoolyard Heroes came on. Sure, they scream sometimes, but when it comes from Ryann's voice, it's sheer poetry. I wish she was everywhere I was, screaming at my co-workers, tucking me in at night with her eye-liner running and sweat dripping down her tattered dress.
And get this! They actually played a 2-song acoustic set! I shit you not, the two guitarists and Ryann all sat on chairs and played a couple of songs I've since forgotten the names to, but it worked surprisingly well!
Once I had six or seven beers in me (which took the duration of the three shitty bands before them), I was feeling more at ease with the All Ages around me. What once was a hinderance to my enjoyment became a reason to play protector as there were two 8 year old girls behind me - her dad having left to hit the moshing side of the crowd - and a surging crowd in front of me trying to start shit with their Circle Pits and whatnot.
These fans are hardcore though. They even have the claps memorized from the Dude, Where's My Skin song on the new album. It was awesome, if not a little creepy. Was that 9 claps or 10?
After the show, as they were herding the young-uns out - "If you're not buying shirts, it's time to go" - I waited around a bit, closed out my tab, and went over to buy a t-shirt from the band. I got this white one with what appears to be a giant, dark blood stain running down from the neck area; like somebody slit my throat from ear to ear. It's pretty sweet, it has Schoolyard Heroes spelled out in spattered blood as well. I don't know if I want to wear it or buy a mannequin with a knife sticking out of its neck.
