March 2nd, 2008


So Much Closer

When you're only able to commit to a couple hours every day to your personal duties at home, when you're too wired to focus during the morning commute and too tired to focus on the afternoon train ride, when your job actually takes up the majority of your paid working day, it's a little hard to get anything accomplished. So, I've set my mental capacity to default, I've stripped my playbook of all the flea-flickers and double-reverses, I've shifted my engine into neutral and decided to coast through the next few months like they won't even be there.

It's like I thought it would be. The trick is to get used to that idea going in, that way it won't be so much of a burden while I'm living it.

I'm asleep at 8pm on Sunday night, I'm awake at 4am on Monday morning, I'm in my running gear at 4:45 and I'm back here 30 minutes later after three miles around the block. I stop sweating by 6am so I can shower and be in my car by 6:15 so I can be on the bus by 6:45 so I can be at work an hour later. I'm off at 4:15 to catch a bus under the Westlake Mall to the International District so I can catch my train by 4:45 so I can be at the Tacoma Dome an hour later to get in my car and get home by 6:15 on a good day. I hope to have eaten by 7 so I can relax, watch the King of Queens for an hour (or perhaps CNN if I'm in the mood for more Democratic Infighting), and then continue winding down in my bedroom with one final check of the e-mail before bed.

This repeats every day until Friday when I can finally unwind at home with a few beers only to pass out from exhaustion by midnight. If I'm lucky, I'll manage to catch up on some sleep on these weekend nights, but I'm not too lucky most of the time. I know what you're thinking, In bed by 8, awake at 4, that's eight hours of sleep every night! Starving claims assistants in Africa would kill for eight squares a night! Well, bonzer for them, but I never actually sleep. I grapple in the twisted grip of restless slumber, continually tossing and turning, seemingly never REALLY achieving that requisite R.E.M. needed for true, unadulterated rest. See, I can't sleep properly unless I'm going to bed spent, but simply staying awake for 16 hours, running 3 miles in the early morning, working a full day in an office, and commuting 3 total hours doesn't really leave me clutching my pillow in peaceful bliss at night.

Doesn't mean I'm not tired. I'm always tired.

This is the life of the man who's doing what he has to do. It's not expected, but it's surely appreciated. I guess that's good enough for now.

In Like A Lion ...

I wanted to see '4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days' this weekend, but it's only playing in Seattle (that theater on the Ave) and Bellevue (at the Galleria) and I didn't really want to see it with anybody because these aren't the kinds of movies you see with people you know. When I see this movie, I want to be alone so I can revel in the emotions it's going to conjur and I want to remain in astonished silence for hours after it's over, leaving the commentary aftermath for those incapable of sitting in a theater with an empty seat on either side. For me, there's nothing to say after seeing a movie you enjoyed except, "That was good." What's the point?

Since I was hanging out with Mark and Mario on Saturday, we decided to see 'Semi-Pro' instead. It was good.

And since '4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days' wasn't starting until 2pm at the earliest, I was unable to see it on Sunday since I had to get back to Tacoma and do some clothes shopping. Couldn't really kill four hours when I don't have that many hours left, now could I?

I'm still hoping to see it next weekend, but fuck only knows when that's gonna happen. Maybe on Saturday after Mario's Friday Night Birthday Bash, maybe on Sunday after ...

I was in Seattle initially to buy some University of Washington Huskies gear that I can plaster on my cubicle walls. Mark and I hit up the Bookstore as well as a couple other area shops and purchased, in no particular order:

* A light-switch cover that says, "Huskies Turn Me On; Cougars Turn Me Off"
* A sturdy metal purple street sign that says Washington Huskies Ave or something like that
* A purple foam finger
* A UW Basketball pennant
* A purple cone thingy I can use to make my voice extra loud and inappropriate at the office
* A t-shirt that says, "Friends Don't Let Friends Be Cougars; brought to you by a Coug-Free America" that I can tack on the wall
* A UW mini-flag that I can hang over my cubicle
* A hardcover book about the Huskies football teams during the Don James years (so I can bone up on my history)

I'm going to intersperse some other things, but I'll definitely be showing my school colors. That'll teach that new chick in the office to bring her Cougar-ness! If only I had $200 to throw around, I would've bought this stained-glass 5-foot tall floor lamp. That would've been classy right next to the Husky lounge chair.

Then, today I bought a new pair of jeans from Target for Casual Fridays. Later, at Nordstrom, I bought a new pair of New Balance running shoes and a pair of brown suede slip-on shoes for the aforementioned Casual Fridays. I'm in business now!

Excuse me, I have 15 minutes to fold my laundry and go to bed.