April 17th, 2007


The Phantom Journal Post

Well, that was a little high school girlish. Won't happen again.

THE IRON CHEF COMPETITION WITH ALL THE cooking and the drinking and the pasta and the poop. I'm tired. I was up until 1:30am last night bangin' Playboy models out by the pool. Rather, I was watching the new episode of Entourage followed by the new episode of The Sopranos. This, of course, followed cooking.

So, I lost, but let's be fair about this, it wasn't my competition to lose. As far as I'm concerned, this was a contest with Steven A. Taylor ("The Hotness") vs. Iron Chef Emily Schleiner ("The Destructor"). We had paper hats, a randy sign, and two people sharing the same set of dishes and cookware.

I'd also like to say - in my defense, realizing full well that I lost - that the Destructor COPIED my idea and improved upon it. Much in the same way that someone will make a really smart bid in The Price Is Right, and then the next person goes one dollar higher. Nevertheless, I readily admit defeat, knowing that the proof is in the vodka sauce.

Vodka was our key ingredient. We both decided to go with the vodka pasta sauce. Both involved vodka, tomato sauce, and heavy cream; mine had peppers that were added too late, rendering the sauce watery, and baked shrimp that was my only saving grace; hers had cheese and was actually tasty. Plus, she had pasta noodles that were shaped like those Bugles snacks, while I went with regular spaghetti. I hereby blame my poor planning and lack of execution. I think, to make a thicker sauce as opposed to a runny one, I should've left the cream in the pan longer, and I should've just skipped the peppers altogether or thrown them in WAY earlier. Them shrimps were pretty fucking wally, though. I might have to try my hand at some more baked shrimp in the future.

Next time, we're gonna do it up right. We'll have someone give us our key ingredient and then immediately go shopping for 20 minutes max before getting right to the competition. That way, there's less planning involved and more spontaneous creativity. Either way, I've got leftovers for days.

I'm going to bed fucking early tonight. Hopefully 24 will have finished downloading by the time I get home so I can watch, eat, and go right to sleep.