March 6th, 2007


And If You Complain Once More

My two remaining roommates are sick - from the sounds of their coughing, portions of their lung walls have been replaced with a mucus coating - so by my estimation, I'll start feeling sick around 4:30pm Thursday afternoon. Just long enough to keep me working and miserable, but just in time to prevent me from making my Boston trip on Friday. I feel like stowing away here at work until they recover.

I told you about my Boston trip, right? My friend Sarah's stopping by for the week, I'm taking this Friday off, the bus tickets I bought are non-refundable. Yeah, I'm prepared to kiss my $31 goodbye and spend the long weekend in utter contempt for mankind.

Why is it that, no matter who you are, when you've got a cold you all-of-a-sudden forget how to cover your mouth when you cough? I'm convinced it's on purpose (they're FUCKING with me!), that deep down, anyone with a cold is so resentful of the healthy that they want to cough on everyone around them so they don't have to be alone in the misery.

I'm telling you, I'm going to be more than a little irritated if I'm forced into bed with this cold and prevented from seeing my friend. It just figures, right? We've all been healthy fucking horses all fucking winter. And, if you think I'm complaining now, just you wait until I'm blowing snot onto dirty t-shirts from bed with a 100+ degree fever.

You'll meet an ... Armee Ofmee

This morning, I got to feel like what a witch's tit feels like. As of right this moment, 11:04am, it is now sunny and 15 degrees. Fahrenheit! That means, at 5:58am this morning, it was EXTRA windy, and a whole lot fucking colder.

But, I thought I'd chance it, you know? Maybe, if I run around really fast, I'll warm up really fast and I'll be able to get the ol' three miles in today. Well, let's see, I ran really fast, and the wind blew really hard, and I almost choked on my own phlegm because I was breathing so hard because it was so cold and windy out, and I couldn't feel my toes, and I couldn't feel my legs, and the wind hurt my face, and when I stopped running, my entire body stiffened up, and I went around the park exactly one time and ran right back to my apartment and closed the door and sat down in the kitchen until I could feel my extremities again and I fucking hate hate HATE this fucking cold and I'm seriously contemplating a move to sunny sunny Florida because I can't fucking take all this fucking cold!

I'm telling you, I was running around in my usual cold-weather gear and I might as well have been running bare-ass naked.

So, that's what's going on with me.

... They Make No Sense To Me / They Come To Our Country ...

Ann Coulter called John Edwards a faggot and I almost missed it! And worse, YOU almost missed hearing my opinion about it! Being so busy with this website and everything, I hadn't had a chance to read up on the news. Lucky for you, I got to hear and see it last night.

Internet, that's the one with e-mail, right?

Ms. Coulter said her use of the word faggot wasn't meant to disparage gays, it was meant like kids on the schoolyard say it to mean "Wuss."

Two Points:

1 - If Eminem can't say faggot in the same sort of context, then you can't say it either. Just because he's some ill-mannered, thug rapper and you're a political opinionoso doesn't mean it's OK for one and not the other.

2 - If New York is trying to symbolically ban the word nigger (let's cut the n-word stuff, what are we children?) or any variation of the word, because it promotes hate towards a group of people, then why haven't they done the same for 'faggot'? Just as hateful, right? It has just as many multiple and alternative uses, right? It's still bandied about more often than people like to hear it, AND it's getting to the point where it'll be the new F-word.

Look, the way Ann Coulter said faggot was meant to be joking and irreverent and edgy, but it backfired in a big way. I didn't think it was appropriate, but I don't necessarily promote the symbolic banning of a word either. What is this, Demolition Man? Are you going to fine me 'credits' for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute? What she said just wasn't funny. I mean, that whole Isiah Washington thing happened, what, a month ago? I'm pretty sure the whole Bald Britney Spears thing stopped being funny about four days after it happened.

She knew what she was doing; you're not a living human being if you don't realize that there are certain words that will be met with scorn and contempt no matter what context you use them in. Nigger, faggot, cunt, and any number of inappropriate racial terms for any number of other racial minorities (let's try to prevent this from being a Carlos Mencia sketch, all right?) will, when said, attach with them a stigma against you.


That's the society we live in. Ever since the 60s, we've been getting progressively more Politically Correct every decade. Somewhere around the time all them colored folk started drinking from OUR water fountains. That right there, that last sentence: WILDLY inappropriate. Fortunately, I have an audience of about three people. Ann Coulter had an audience of unlimited proportions thanks to the Internet and a little thing called a Video Recorder. Ergo, she KNEW she'd get this kind of a response. Not just because of Mel Gibson or Michael Richards or Isiah Washington or whoever else comes next and sticks his foot in his fucking mouth. It's because society has moved on.

We're WAY too sensitive as a nation because we're WAY too marginalized. In an effort to define ourselves, people have adopted so many distinctions that it's nearly impossible to not offend at least SOME small group. Liken it to all these new digital cable channels. They have a channel on TV for just about every possible subject because out there, some where, there's some small group of people who thinks it'd be just peachy to watch a television channel devoted to golf, or knitting, or 24-hour Reality TV, or 24-hour Sweatshop Labor, or whatever else you can think of. The same way, these people put themselves into these little groups, embodying everything they stand for, so now when I say, "I hate Zebras," there's some fucking group out there who'll demand I submit a public apology to the zebras and all zebra-loving people out there who devote their lives to Zebra Equality.

It's tragically sad. It's tragically sad that we'll never again laugh at "All In The Family". Can you just imagine if a show like that came on today, centered around a character who's a bigot (albeit, a lovable teddy-bear of a bigot if you believe some people)? It's almost like the reaction Ann Coulter got when she called John Edwards a faggot:

People hear the word, it gets processed in their brains. Did she just say faggot? Boy, you don't hear many public speakers use the word faggot in that way nowadays ... yes! She did! She said faggot! OK, how do I react? What's the appropriate reaction? What's this person doing? Oh Christ, this person doesn't know what to do either! OK, she said faggot and I have to respond. I'm offended by that word, right? Right? It's not OK to use the word faggot is it? Stop thinking about that word! It's not OK to even THINK about it! No, no, her saying that is definitely NOT okay ... unless, was it ... did she say it like THAT? Well, John Edwards IS kind of effeminate ... but, he's married, she knows that. Is she saying that he's a closeted homosexual? Hmm, I wonder, is he? No! No, she knows that! She knows what calling a straight man gay would mean. It would mean lawsuits, just ask Tom Cruise. No, she didn't mean it like that, so maybe it's OK to laugh! Maybe I can find it funny because she was just joking and I can just groan a little bit, but in that way as to say, "Oh you! You little so-and-so! I'm on to you! You're naughty! That's a naughty word!" but in a playful kind of way. Wait a sec, but that word IS naughty! Should I boo? Do you boo someone who says faggot? Stop thinking that word!!! I don't think you boo. I could just not laugh. But, it's rude to not laugh when someone makes a joke. What if NOBODY laughs? Then, she'll be really embarassed and have her feelings hurt and she DID come all this way and we sat all this time. Really, it's impolite to not laugh, even as a courtesy. But, to laugh at ... that word, would mean that I agree with that word. No, shouldn't laugh. Well, I COULD laugh, but laugh uncomfortably, like I understand it's a joke but I don't think it's funny (I don't think it's funny still, right?) - but I don't want people to THINK I think it's funny - and hopefully she'll move on to something a little less controversial because I'm a sheep and I have to do what all the other sheep do and if all the other sheep don't know how to act, then how will I ever know how to act?

That's what people would do while being tied down and forced to watch "All In The Family" today. All because of a little bigotry. And an overwhelming need to try and please as many people as possible. And an even more overwhelming sensitivity to what's supposedly offensive. At the end of the day, is someone calling you a faggot going to kill you? No, so get over it.

And would someone please murder Ann Coulter, because she's the biggest fucking cunt I've ever seen.