February 23rd, 2007


Jim Tobleson's a fucking Chatty Cathy!

I downloaded the movie "Beerfest" last night - which took about 15 seconds for some reason - and it hit me about a half hour into the movie ... "Why the hell aren't I drinking beer right now?"

I often ask myself this question - at work, after a hearty run, during a hearty run, while watching pornography, while conducting symphony orchestras (in my MIND), while staring at cleavage, while pretending I'm NOT staring at cleavage, while drinking non-beer beverages, while holding a beer in my hand, while transfixed, gazing into the black heartless abyss of Satan's almighty all-powerful omnipotence (he too sees you when you're sleeping) - but never has it been more apt than while watching a film (brought to us by the creators of "Super Troopers") about the special kind of love between a man and his beer. I haven't finished it yet, because we crossed that 10pm threshold and that meant my beddie-bye time. Nevertheless, there's only one solution for tonight when I go in for the last hour of that movie. Yep, you guessed it, a six pack of Budweiser Tall Boys.

When I left the apartment this morning, my O.C. download was above 60%. Oh my oh my ... gettin' choked up here! Gimme a minute ...

What a shocker, U.S. intelligence is a wee bit faulty considering the nuclear capabilities of Iran. (I know, this thing just took a HUGE 180-degree turn and started sprinting in the opposite direction, but work with me on this one). Can any rational human being trust our government in matters like these after the pathetic excuse they fabricated in March of 2003?

Now, far be it for me to come on here and defend Iran - they held a fucking symposium on how the Holocaust never really happened - but look, you can't just make up things and say they're reasons for going to war. You just can't! Do I give two shits about Iran? No. Would it bother me in the slightest if Iran ceased to exist? Not really. But, life isn't as simple as that; going over there (or, really, STAYING over there and shifting to the right one border) requires putting (keeping) American lives on the line, further straining our relationship with the rest of the world, and further pissing off citizens here who're already dissatisfied with the way Iraq's going.

Is it too much to ask, to hope, that we can just get through this year without another massively grave international incident? We get through this year, then 2008 is an Election Year - where, as we all know, the entire U.S. government shuts down and the entire U.S. media fixes on one thing and one thing only - and hopefully we'll get someone into the White House who knows what the fuck he's doing.

I'm going to see Zach Galifianakis tomorrow night at 10:30. Cost me $36 after taxes and Ticketmaster Buttfuck Charges, but I think it'll be worth it. I mean, the NYC is the place to be for stand up comedy, so I might as well take advantage while I have the opportunity, right? So, yeah, if you don't know who he is, I suggest checking out his Comedy Central performance. See, the thing is, he's hilarious, but he's also the kind of guy who's always experimenting and always trying out new material. I don't know if there are too many people I'd pay to see more than once (I saw him at Bumbershoot a couple years ago, but that was for only like 20 minutes), but I think I'd pay to see Zach Galifianakis every three or four months.

And here we are, full circle, talking about comedy again. See how that works out? I rented "For Your Consideration" last night as well (Christopher Guest, he directed "Best In Show" "Waiting For Guffman" "A Mighty Wind") and I can't wait to throw it in the ol' DVD player. So, my weekend's all set. Oh yeah, don't forget the wine.
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