December 5th, 2006


Cath-o-lic Schoolgirlsrule!

So, I'm just completely enthralled about this news story about the two month old baby who had a blood alcohol level of .195 to possibly as high as .364; although, that high-end number seems unrealistic for the baby to still be alive and out of the hospital. Apparently the dad or step-dad or mother's boyfriend dropped them off in the middle of the night and then chirped out? WHAT HAPPENED HERE??? Like, was he just doing shots and decided he didn't want to drink alone? Put some whiskey in the baby's bottle? Now THIS is news!

You know what's NOT news? George Clooney's pig dying. Who fucking cares?

What I like, though, is this Gwenyth Paltrow story. Where she's apparently misquoted in a Portuguese newspaper as saying that English people are smarter and more civilized due to "poor Spanish speaking skills." First of all, if this paper really is in Portugal, wouldn't the language be ... Portuguese? I don't doubt for a SECOND that she said SOMETHING that would lead them to printing it as they did. Obviously, it's easy to misquote someone, but to have the general essence down, that don't take much. Secondly, I don't doubt for a second that that's how she actually feels! You know, that British people talk about interesting things at the dinner table instead of work and money-related subject matter.

You know what bugs me about what she said? The fact that she feels she must backpeddle and apologize and cover up how she really feels. I hate stupid blind nationalism; what, you can't have an opinion about anything unless it praises the United States? Oh, the outcry on these things are tremendous! Idiots on the radio and in papers who are Pro-America all of a sudden. Who gives a shit? It's a cultural difference. Gwenyth just so happens to PREFER the company of British people. It doesn't mean that she doesn't want your money, America!


As I rolled around for about four hours in a state of perpetual doze last night, I found myself wondering about how people are gonna receive me upon my return to the Northwest. You know it's tucked away in the back of everyone's minds, maybe they're not actively thinking about it, but subconsciously they're wondering, "How has Steven changed since he moved to New York?"

I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm gonna want some answers! I'm looking squarely at Kon and anyone else who's willing to tell it like it is to my face. Because I can sit around and self-analyze until the cows come home, but there are certain things I'm just not gonna notice. You know, body language, attitude, changes in gait, personality, all that.

Every so often, I go through some kind of absurd transformation it seems like. If anything, it's just an evolution of character, but whatever we're talking about, it's unsettling. I don't expect to be too drastically different, but living nearly four months in an entirely different setting'll do something.

As humans, we act differently around different people. That's the way it goes. It's based on instinct; how you think the other person will react to your personality and adjusting accordingly to achieve the best possible results. Then, as you get to know them more, you can fine tune it. Things that Jake and I find funny are not necessarily the same things that Jenny and I would find funny, and so on down the line.

Nevertheless, when I moved here, I moved into a completely different lifestyle than I'd ever experienced before. Obviously, I'd never lived exclusively with three chicks before. Don't know how they'd react to my calling them "chicks," so that's why I DON'T call them chicks when they're around. You get the idea. I find myself minding the ol' P's and Q's more here than I have before. I don't really know what that means, I guess probably that I make fewer buttfuck and your-mother jokes. We all censor ourselves one way or another, depending on the situation. This goes beyond what you simply say, it's attitude and all the rest I mentioned earlier.

A couple of related points of interest. You know I've been saying lately that I've been especially in the Christmas spirit more than I have in most recent years. I don't think that's just a coincidence. I'm living with people who are totally into the whole thing as well. That's the powers of Osmosis, holmes. Likewise, last night, I cooked for everyone. I made this South American rice dish with shrimp cooked with parmesan cheese and herbs, and baked crab cakes. You should've HEARD how they fawned over what I made. It was like they'd never tasted food before! I mean, I pretty much just threw a bunch of frozen Trader Joe's shit together and plopped it on their plates. And you know, I don't remember making one damned meal the entire time I lived with Jake. That's not to say one living situation is better than the other, that's just an influence over lifestyle. Jake and I were perfectly content cooking for ourselves, but it's little things like that that can change a person.

So, we'll see. Before I moved, I had a chat with a co-worker in the Nordstrom mailroom. He told me, "Watch out, when you come back. People are gonna be telling you to Slow Down. Because it's a different way of life out there." That's true, to an extent. West Coast people are laid back cats for the most part. Out here, they seem to be a little more uptight, tightly wound, however you like to describe it. Little did this ex co-worker realize my powers of unrelenting laziness; I take to change like an oncoming ice age.

The Final Frontier

I tend to say a lot of shit about ol' President Bush - and approximately 99.99929% is deserved - but this new wrinkle on the space program has me totally jazzed!

I probably even mocked his moxie in declaring that we'd land on the moon again - what's the point I might've said - but I defy you to go back and quote me on that! Defy!

Then, I went ahead and read this article and my eyes have opened.

In my lifetime: We could see a permanent, functioning base on the south pole of the moon! Still though, what's depressing about the whole thing is if it takes twenty fucking years just to get there, what hope do I have in living to see us land on Mars?

Anyway, you know where the smart money's going right now? Figuring out a way to start up a company that can make air on the moon.
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