November 24th, 2006


esreveR nI gnivigsknahT

I'm listening to the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack; I've got blankets and pillows forming an impenetrable barrier around me, cornered against the walls on my bed; and I'm thinking about the possibility of going outside, if only for an hour.

My Thanksgiving ended last night - 11 Budweisers in - watching "Wet Hot American Summer" for the third time in the last two weeks since I downloaded it. Though, to be honest, two of those times were when I was stark raving drunk, needing to stay up just a little bit longer to sober up and not piss myself in my sleep. Both times (last night included) I somehow found the strength to stay up and watch the entire thing, even though nearing the last twenty minutes I could hardly keep my head off the pillow.

Before that, Emily and I stayed here while everyone else went off to the bar. We sat together on the couch in Jenny's room and watched my rented DVD "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles," while drinking beer/wine and laughing our asses off. P's T's & A's, incidentally, is one of only two Thanksgiving-Themed movies, the other being "Home For The Holidays." Emily and I both particularly enjoyed the corny 80's music and the hokey ending where Steve Martin passionately hugs his wife like they'd just lived through the Holocaust or something. After that, Emily was ready to hit the sack, but I wasn't done drinking. You go out and buy two six-packs of Budweiser - an American beer for an American holiday (and, in October, a Canadian holiday) - and by golly you better damn well finish 'em. Almost made it.

Before that, we had a band eating Thanksgiving dinner with us. Jenny's friends stopped by and mooched good n' plenty off of Jenny and Emily's efforts. It was cool, though, we knew they were coming. Jenny, Emily and myself all walked over to the local Hollywood Video to see if they had Series 2 of Black Adder - because apparently nothing quite says Thanks For Giving like the Queen Victoria-era British comedy - but they didn't have it. I picked up - in addition to P's T's & A's - "Where The Buffalo Roam", a film based on Hunter S. Thompson starring Bill Murray in the title role. Haven't watched it yet, but I will soon enough. While at the video store, though, Jenny got the call that her friends were here, so she hauled ass to let them in while Emily and I stuck around to check out our movies.

Before that, the three of us feasted. Jenny made the turkey - filled with stuffing (and yes, she remembered to pull out the giblets) - as well as mashed potatoes; Emily made a meatless roast thing (because all the stores in all the city were out of tofurkeys) which wasn't half bad, as well as the yams and sesame-flavored green beans in a wok. There was also cranberries and olives from a can; I dominated the olives, nearly eating the whole lot of 'em. I even made it a point to try mashed potatoes for the first time since I was just a LITTLE kid. Put a little gravy on it and ... it wasn't bad. I'm not gonna pretend I'm some mashed potato fanatic after trying a large spoonful, but let's just say if push comes to shove, I can eat them without ralphing. And, speaking of ralphing, I managed to FINALLY download "A Christmas Story." Gonna watch that later today.

Before that, I actually got to play the part of the man and be the one who carved the turkey. It was actually kinda funny, because for the most part I was hiding away in my bedroom watching NFL football the only way I could: reading the play-by-play updates on; only to walk into the kitchen area every now and then to pick up some cookies and eat some olives. Then, around 6pm or so, Emily came into my room and asked if I could run out and buy some dish soap, so we could actually have clean dishes to eat off of. I said I surely would, and then she followed that up by asking me if I'd ... let's see, what were the exact words ... I believe she asked if I would "manly carve the turkey." Yes, when you think of "manly," the first person that comes to mind is Steven A. Taylor. Anyway, I'd been considering going out and buying some beer for the evening, but that would've involved me getting my ass out of the apartment. However, now that I'd been commissioned to buy soap, I figured that was my opportunity. After I got back, Budweiser in hand, my Manly Instincts took over and I carved the HELL out of that bird! That thing was clean to the BONE! The dark meat was still pretty (in) pink, but the white meat was all good. Nothing says being a man on Thanksgiving than a can of Bud in one hand and a very large knife in the other, towering over a dead bird cooked by the womenfolk in the household. The only thing that was missing was a blowjob and some bikini mudwrestling. Maybe next year.

Before that I woke my ass up at 10am and sat around all morning tinkering with my fantasy team and talking to the parentals. It was good times, later on I even managed to reach my brother - miracle of all miracles, I know. Everyone seems to be doing well, so yeah.
  • Current Music
    Mr. Hankey - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas