November 13th, 2006

Don't Hassle the Hoff

Can't Find A ... Working Man

No, I'm just tired because I was up past one am and had to wake up at 6:30 for my first day of work.

Don't you hate it when you're alone in a room and you think you're gonna get away with a really raunchy fart, and then two seconds later someone walks in and you know you've been caught even though they're too polite to say anything?

Once again I find myself in an employment situation surrounded by the fairer sex, rendered impotent by the fact that all of the men who work there are in positions of authority while most of the women are in positions of sheer equality. The bottom line: Unless I start bangin' these broads like crazy, I'll be stuck with endless amounts of girl talking about shopping and boys and ... tampons. On the plus side - as opposed to my last job - these chicks are fairly close to my age range.

I work from 8:30am to 5:30pm with an hour lunch. I sit at the receptionist's desk for H---id-y Fe-o-l-o F--l-r, L.-. They deal in Real Estate, mostly intermediary shit. Don't ask me to explain it because I don't get it myself. All I know is, for 8 hours a day, I sit at this desk and answer the phone and transfer the call to the appropriate destination. And they don't get that many calls, so mostly I sit at this desk and surf the Internet. For $17 an hour.

Some people are afraid to get on the world wide web when they haven't been given expressed verbal consent; not me. Well, at first I tried to stick to just Google News. That lasted an hour or two and then I got super bored, so I branched out to Google News and Fuck man, by lunch time I was checking e-mail, writing e-mail, updating my Fantasy Football Teams; by the end of the day I was chatting online and printing shit out. Really, the only sites I won't go to are this one and MySpace and Facebook. And, you know, my bank sites, because who knows what their security's like?

Yesterday saw me getting hammered again and seeing the Seahawks edge out the St. Louis Rams. I'm telling you, easy street from here on out.

Then, afterward, I went out and saw Stranger Than Fiction. Does anyone else think Diane Keaton's kinda hot for a 60 year old? No? Just women and me? OK, just checking. She's not in the movie, but she's in one that's coming out - some damned romantic comedy with Mandy Moore - and it looks pretty dreadful. I don't think there's enough estrogen in the world to inject into me to get me to want to see that movie. That sentence was way too awkward.

Stranger Than Fiction was okay. A lot more Will Ferrell than I would've thought; with a lot less Emma Thompson, to my chagrin, because it seemed like her character - the reclusive, semi-suicidal, writer's blocked novelist - was far more interesting than the timid, quirky, lonely Ferrell. And, you know, the movie really plays out as you'd expect it. All you need to do is watch the preview for the movie and you'll get the whole story. Even Dustin Hoffman - one of my favorite actors - really kinda lolligagged his way through this; his performance really made me want to see I Heart Huckabees again, to remember what a GOOD Hoffman role looks like. AND, it's like, what the hell is the point of casting Queen Latifah? She's super talented and in this movie for about five minutes throughout! The only real redeeming qualities consisted of having Buster from Arrested Development say "dude" a few times and, of course, the love of my life: Maggie Gyllenhaal. I could watch her open pickle jars naked for 90 minutes and be riveted by the nuances of her acting craft. Or, maybe it's the fact that she looks like she's never even heard of the word "brassiere."

OK, so I guess that is all. I just got side tracked with a phone call; it's amazing how much better I feel when I actually make an attempt to keep in touch with people for the first time. I'm super drowsy, but I need to write. Maybe I'll just pack it in early today and come back strong tomorrow. Sounds like a plan.
  • Current Music
    Smashing Pumpkins - Silverfuck