November 11th, 2006

Don't Hassle the Hoff

Rock And Roll Ain't Gonna Die

You wanna see a pathetic sight? Come over here and watch me do pushups. No, that's not the pathetic part. THEN, watch me in my bedroom - when everyone else is asleep - flexing my arms, testing out the guns. You got your tickets? To the Sea of Delusion Showcase!!!

On the plus side, I've worked my way up to 5 sets of 10 pushups. NO, they're NOT girl pushups! Real BIG man push ups! God, speaking of which, I should see if it's possible to download Bloodsport. Hang on ...

OH MY GOD, they have it! Jesus, why would I go and sell off THE greatest Martial Arts Movie of all time? Freakin' IDIOT!

Hey, by the way, "Run To The Hills" by Iron Maiden is probably the coolest fucking song in the history of kicking ass. If I actually wanted to be an annoying jackass who puts songs on their MySpace profile because they enjoy forcing anyone who visits their page to want to gouge out their eardrums because they have absolutely ZERO taste in music, this would be my song. Except, it wouldn't be like that at all, because everyone would hear my song, instantly start headbanging, keep refreshing my page every four minutes, and finally ejaculate in their pants without any outside stimulation. Then, they'd actually run TO the hills with gigantic swords and pointy viking helmets and start decapitating their enemies while raping women and drinking grog from hollowed out skulls. I could single-handedly solve the world's Pussy Men Acting Like Little Girls problem. Too bad I've got my principles.

Jesus, have you ever read the lyrics to "Run To The Hills"? It's actually about Europeans taking over America and ravaging all the Indians. Fucking Sweet!

Riding through dustclouds and barren wastes
Galloping hard on the plains
Chasing the redskins back to their holes
Fighting them at their own game
Murder for freedom a stab in the back
Women and children and cowards attack

Run to the hills run for your lives
Run to the hills run for your lives

In case you couldn't tell, I've been spending the bulk of my evening creating playlists for my iPod. I know how annoying it can be when people decide to throw their playlists into the body against your will, so I'll go ahead and link to them for now on. For anyone who's interested in what GOOD music sounds like, and what order this good music needs to be played in for maximum satisfaction, I hereby bestow 25+ years of hand-crafted science:

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Bravo to anyone who actually read all that. Boo to anyone who disagrees (but, I willingly accept all criticism).

Um, so other than that, I got nothing. I've got a Rolling Stone magazine to read here. Gonna go watch "Stranger Than Fiction" tomorrow; I would've went out tonight, but Saint Emily returned and made us a feast I'm pretty glad I stuck around for. If it weren't for her, my diet would be comprised solely of frozen burritos, frozen pizza, cereal, bagels, and the occasional White Castle. Now, I guess you can add, "Occasional Healthy Stuff" to the list.
  • Current Music
    AC/DC - Rock And Roll Ain't Noise Pollution