October 19th, 2006


Obsessed with Fantasy, Possessed with My Schemes

So, apparently our president doesn't just want to have total control of the world, he wants the fucking universe too!

By the way, anyone who isn't raising their hands when I ask, "How many of you are concerned about a full-fledged military incident over in Southeast Asia?" should probably double check and make sure you've got all of your appendages about you. Crazy fucking leader with an axe to grind - thanks to another crazy fucking leader associating him with some non-existent "Axis of Evil" - gets his hands on the bomb with little to no resistance until it's too late ... oh yeah, this is gonna go to bed quietly. Shit man, this has all the make-up of a child with undisciplined parenting hopped up on a bag full of Rolos!

And also by the way, you don't have to read that article I linked up there - if you're bored, sure - but I find the following quote tickling my ass pink: "But reports of the space policy raised immediate concerns that America would be seen to be trying to develop a fresh generation of space weapons."

I can't NOT laugh when I read that people - well-respected government-type people I'm sure - are seriously considering the development of Space Weapons. Because that just gets me to thinking about Space Prostitutes and THAT'S just getting me to think, "How would that even WORK?"

SPACE WEAPONS! FINALLY! Fucking Phasers and Light Sabres and the TIE Fighters! Whatchoo want, Al-Qaeda? We'll fucking laser your asses ... from SPACE!

I'm sorry, did our president really declare that all of Space officially belongs under United States control? There's no ... no UN resolution? No committee of the Top 5 Superpowers? It's just ours? We can DO that? Fuck man, the moon too? REALLY? You mean ... ALL of it? Not only that, but he made it a Doctrine! It's on paper now, Iran, so suck it! I don't know if you're aware of the last great American Doctrine, that of President James Monroe? He declared that those Euro-bitches could no longer plant their trees on American soil. That Monroe, man, he just wasn't thinking BIG like that president of ours today.

Is there even, like, a word to describe the quality of someone who's willing to say all of space is ours? Audacity, sure. Arrogance, oh yeah. Is "jackassery" a word? I think it needs to be.

Nothing would please me more, come November, than the Democrats taking over one or both halves of Congress, but I don't think it's going to happen. What's more, I don't think the Democrats actually DESERVE it, because - once AGAIN - all they choose to talk about is how Bush is failing rather than how they'd help us succeed. And, I think it's pretty damned obvious what's going to happen if - by some grace of God (resulting in the Evangelicals not going out to vote this time) - they do win over Congress. For the first time since 1994, they'll have the opportunity to push their agenda; and since they've been so stifled by the Bush Jr. Regime, their agenda will be exclusively to question Bush, to probe his administration and policies for the last six years. Essentially, it's like the kid-brother who's had his ass kicked by his older brother all his life who finally - after years of lifting weights and drinking milk - builds his body up enough to start kicking some ass. It'll be a woodshed beating like no one's ever seen!

What? You're asking, "Why wouldn't you want to see THAT? That sounds great! Bush finally getting what's coming to him!"

OK, let me see if I can get this out as clearly as possible. What's the fucking point in probing the Bush presidency to death? First of all, we know he's a liar and a fuck-up. Go fucking film a documentary if you want to probe his blunderings! What we need to do now is FIX all the shit he's done wrong. Roll back those tax cuts, set up some stricter environmental standards, revamp the automobile industry, quell our dependency on oil, reduce the deficit. If the Democrats go in there and waste two fucking years of control by conducting senseless probes of shit we pretty much have a firm grasp on (Bush ... Dumb), we won't have the opportunity to right the wrong. Because the Republicans will be waiting in the wings right there, pointing to the Democrats' indecision and non-direction, and they'll kick some fucking ass in 2008.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, you CAN'T fucking win elections based on the idiocy of your opponent! You've actually got to come to the table with something! They call the Democrats the "Party of No Ideas" and the Republicans the "Party of Bad Ideas" for a reason. Smart people know the Republicans are retards, but idiots will always vote for bad ideas over no ideas. That's just the way it works.
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