October 18th, 2006


That's Just How She Passed Out; Thank You Slow Gas Leak

Here, let me just get all the boring shit out of the way in a nice little list:

  • I had to bootleg some Internet today for a couple of hours because ours decided to crap out

  • Two online tests were my reward this afternoon, via two different Temp Agencies

  • I called another and set up an appointment for Thursday at 9:30am

  • Emily's room has had a slow gas leak for some time; it's just now getting fixed, rendering the apartment without oven-using abilities for a couple days (without a microwave, that's quite the cold-food crisis)

  • I still haven't finalized my Christmas plans, but they're looking to have me come home early (around the 15th maybe) and returning here before New Years (more on that later)

So, you know it's been my lifelong dream to write Fortune Cookies, right? I mean, mostly I'd either try to predict something TOO accurately (you will die while choking on your sexual partner's close-range farts on May 4th, 2010), or have them make absolutely no sense (the key to success is pancakes). But, every once in a while, I like to think I come up with some truly profound lines of reason. I had one of those moments last night when I was writing in my journal. Without getting into what led up to what inevitably HAD to be the closing line of the piece, I said, "The conundrum being: Misery will never attract Company when the root of your misery is the lacking of said company."

Look, I live with girls now. As such, it's like I've just bought myself a front-row seat to the exclusive show, "Into The Mind Of Today's Female." Obviously, there's much to being a girl I'll have absolutely no use for (laundry, cooking, dishes ... quintessential "Women's Work"), rampaging male chauvinism aside. But, if there's one thing I hope to glean from this experience, it's "What's She Thinking While In Love?" Fortunately for me, one roommate's in a fairly long-standing relationship (OK, only a few months, but still ...), one's just starting her romance with some Swedish guy recording an album for the upcoming month, and one's weighing her options, but taking her time it would seem. In other words, all are in different stages of mate-seeking, so I get the whole panoramic experience.

Like, did you know that girls can go completely gaga over someone after one so-called "magical" evening with someone she just met and didn't have sex with? To the point where she's doing a pretty good moping-around job, constantly in anxious "When's He Going To Call Me Like He Said He Would?" wonder? Only to be all too overjoyed upon receipt of a simple e-mail?

Yes, that's just one end of the spectrum. Then, you've got your more level-headed types who show absolutely no butterflies whatsoever one way or the other when it comes to potential guy-friends. It's all really quite fascinating, I'm planning on doing a study. Maybe, if I synthesize the three of them down to one Generic Lady, I'll have the secret weapon to take down any woman of my choosing. Ladies beware, I'm comin' for you!

See, I was thinking about this last night, and I came to the realization that my desire to find a girlfriend has reached an all-time low. And, I know, a lot of what I think is bullshit (meeting new people, dating, putting my gameface on, being my "Public Self" as opposed to my ambivalent "Private Self", articulating my feelings and presenting myself in a packagable way) is really little more than being friendly, but I have no aspiration to go through ANY of that right now. Who needs the hassle? It's entirely too much work and I should really be focusing on my career anyway.

You can't really write too well if you're constantly wondering, "Should I call her? What should I say? Where should we go? What if she says this? I think I should call, but everyone says 'Three Days', I wonder if she likes me, Will she remember me? Will it look like I'm too needy if I call after one day?" Let's face it, I'm a simple guy. I'll need an equally simple, laid back female companion if I'm to get anything done in that realm of life.

It's too bad I'm pretty sure there's no woman in existence who's as laid back as me when it comes to dating and all that bullshit involved.
  • Current Music
    Foo Fighters - Walking After You