October 13th, 2006


And then the Lord said, "Let There Be Bedbugs!"

God, I've been fighting the urge left and right to say, "Don't let the bedbugs bite" to Liz before she went to bed this week. Our apartment hath been smoten with bedbugs - exclusively in Liz's room it seems - most likely due to some unsavory characters who attended our party. Nobody can figure it out, but Liz has mystery bites all over her arms while the rest of us enjoy bite-free sleeping lives. She's not a dirty character, she doesn't sleep in random dumpsters or anything. The only thing we can figure for her being singled out is that one of her friends had bedbugs, then sat on her bed at the party.

And so, today we had an exterminator come in. He sprayed her bed and mine (because I'm in an adjoining room), then he let off bombs in her room and mine. So, I never had bugs, but I'm doubly safe thanks to this thing. The downside was that I had to spend nine dollars laundering my bedding. I'll pay the price, though. Now, I'm Downy fresh, bitches!

I hit the hay last night - much to everyone's shock - at 10pm. Because I could, that's why! That resulted in my waking up at a quarter to 8 this morning without aid of my alarm clock. I had another round of tests today with the Muckety Muck Wall Street Temps agency. Three FUCKING hours. First I had to fill out a sheet, then I had to sit at a computer and answer all these questions about who I worked for last and what hours of availability I harbor. Then, there were four timed tests. What is this, the fucking S.A.T.'s??? They honestly had the Sound is to Silence as Sunlight is to _________ questions on there! And, like, a pattern of numbers (12, 14, 17, 21, __); and word problems (Mark's got a nickel, a dime, and a quarter; he's at the market and the shopkeep tells him all the things he can buy using his coins without having to make change; what's the highest number of yadda yadda yadda). I assume I did well on those, because she said so afterward. There was a spelling test which I fucking DOMINATED. Oh, this was much different than yesterday, though. On the computerized spelling test, they had a word like QU__F and a definition at the top. My job was to just fill in the blanks, and hoo doggies did I kick ass. 47 out of 53 correct. Of the six I missed, I'm assuming most if not all were due to the fact that I had no idea what the word was, nor did I understand the definition because it was obviously a word I've never used. That ain't fuckin' bad.

Then, holy hell, they gave me a 5-minute Simple Math test. Just about all the questions were 126 - 59 or 35 + 68. I didn't finish. Last question, I had the answer all worked out in my head, I was just about to bring the cursor over to the field to write it in and ... it cut out. Finally, I had a 3-minute typing test to see how many words per minute I can handle. I forgot to ask for the results, but I'm pretty sure it's close to the 80 words per minute I'm accustomed to. My hands were pretty sore after that one.

After that, I had a short interview with the lady who said that I'm awesome, then finally on to the proofreading test.

Four of them: first, a proofread of a two-page legal document; second, a two-page comparison of a master document versus the mistake-riddled copy; third, a blackline test where I just have to mark what changes were made to a document; finally, another spelling test. This time, I just have to correct the words using the symbols of the trade (almost exactly like the spelling test I sucked ass at yesterday). Well, today, I actually studied the list of legal words and I'm pretty sure I kicked its ass this time. I won't forget how to spell Accommodate again, that's for damn sure!

By the way, if you've been wondering, "Severed" only has one R (think of the word severe, then add a D - like, if something is severed from your body, that's pretty fucking severe ... D); while "Preferred" has two R's (think prefer red, as in - Santa Claus will always prefer red over those pussy green colors the other elves wear).

You're never going to think about that when you're spelling, are you? I go and do you a friggin' service and what thanks do I get???

Anyway, so I finished that, and it was around 3pm, and I realized: everyone else who was taking the test with me ... they've all gone home at least a half hour ago! Dude said it wasn't timed, but when I walked out there to give back my test, I think they forgot I was still in there. Hey, I took full advantage, but let's hope they don't hold it against me.

This afternoon, I got another unsolicited voicemail from another temp agency. He never called me back this afternoon though, so I'll have to set something up next Monday. Won't be long now.
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