October 8th, 2006


Go Home & Get Your Fuckin' Shine Box!

You don't fuck with a made guy. That's the long and the short of it. The girl who was supposed to stay with us for the month didn't realize that. Messed with the wrong wiseguy as it happened, finds herself sleeping somewhere else now.

Well, she and Emily had a disagreement anyway. Whathaveyou.

I'm getting pretty good at leaving the house and accomplishing what amounts to a C+ worth of what I needed to accomplish

(you cannot, absolutely can NOT pass up "Poison" by Alice Cooper when it plays ... I've seen that music video too often in my life for that amount of disrespect)

Yesterday, I needed to go to the library, I needed to buy a new notebook and a couple folders, I needed to stop by the ESPN Zone and catch some of the Husky game, I needed to flop down to the Village and print out my novels, and I needed to see "The Departed" because Nicholson and Scorsese are awesome.

I set my alarm for 1pm, but since I didn't go to sleep until 6:30am, I lollygagged in bed until about 2:20 listening to sports radio. I made it to the library (turned in the plays I checked out), but I failed to get the book I wanted. Of course, that was because the girl who was staying with us for the month had it with her and said I could borrow it. Didn't find out about that little spoiler until I got home last night. I did, however, check out a couple books by David Foster Wallace and "Cat's Cradle" by Kurt Vonnegut. I dunno, everyone and their sister says Vonnegut is THE guy to read, and the little blurbs on the back said that this is THE book to read, if you read just ONE book by THE guy.

I'll have you know, though, about this David Foster Wallace guy. He's mainly a short story man; wrote a book called "Brief Interviews With Hideous Men." Interspersed among the short stories are these fake "interviews" with truly disgusting men, but for the most part they're fucking hilarious. In college, we were assigned to read just the interviews, but I figured I'd go ahead and read the rest. I'm kinda disappointed I gave away my copy before I moved, but that's what libraries are for. The very first interview is with this guy who yells out at the top of his lungs whenever he orgasms during sex, "VICTORY FOR THE FORCES OF DEMOCRATIC FREEDOM!" The cool thing about the interview format of these short stories is that you don't get to hear the questions. DFW just puts a letter Q where the question would be. Anyway, I'd recommend, if nothing else for the interviews.

So, I did that, and since the library's just a couple blocks from Times Square, I hit up the ESPN Zone for the Husky game. Now, I fully expected a blowout, so I counted on dropping in, texting Kon the disappointing news, then getting the hell out of there in time for the matinee showing. Well, shut my fucking mouth if the Huskies didn't keep it interesting all the way through! You should've seen all the people rooting for Detroit (mostly, just rooting against the Yankees - Mets fans for ya). And, of course, I just HAD to stand next to the loudmouth lout who kept shouting, "Hip-Hip-He's Gay!" and "Gaaaaay-Rod!" I'm telling you, I have no tolerance for these fucking assholes; then again, I have even less tolerance for having my throat stamped in.

Huskies lost to the Number 3 team in the nation in their stadium, but I'll be damned if they didn't give it the ol' college try! Down by six with under a minute to play, we drove down to the USC 15 yard line. The clock SHOULD'VE stopped with five fucking seconds left. The refs were so damned disorganized, they let it run down to two seconds, then made everyone so confused that we didn't notice that they blew the whistle to run the clock. So, we never got an opportunity to run a final play. I'm not saying it was a done deal by any means, but at least give us the fucking opportunity to play the fucking game!

By the way, I found the Alice Cooper video - GOD I love YouTube! You know why this video is great? First of all, I would've given away my entire wardrobe just to have that t-shirt he wears of the giant skull-like face. Secondly, there are at least a handful of "Wait a minute, did I just see nipple? Can they SHOW that on VH1?" moments - ain't it grand being 8 years old and seeing works of art like this? Third, Alice Cooper's lyrics are so bad! Like, you're never gonna learn a damn thing from an Alice Cooper song. Fourth, this was his big Comeback Video. From about '75 or '76 through the mid-80s, Alice Cooper was an alcoholic and entirely irrelevant. Then, he upped the ante, got into the whole Heavy Metal scene of the 80s, started wearing leather and less make up, and put his songs on Nightmare On Elm Street soundtracks. From this video until about 1994 or so, he had a modest following of disenchanted youth. For some reason, though, even the great Alice Cooper couldn't profit from Kurt Cobain's suicide. And finally, Alice Cooper's like 80 years old, but he's still pulling down hot fucking Sluttermodels of the late 80s! I would've traded identities with him in a MINUTE!

Anyway, the Huskies were totally gypped, so I left to go buy my notebook and folders at the local drugstore. I'm planning on revising one of my novels - starting with the newest one first - and I need the notebook to write down anything I want to change/fix. After that, I headed down to the Village. The copy store was closed, so I'll print them out tomorrow.

Finally, no, I didn't see "The Departed." I'm leaving the house tomorrow, so I'll get on it then. I've also got to meet some people in some park. They're a part of the New York chapter of the Novel In A Month thing I'm doing in November. Apparently, they meet weekly in anticipation of the big month, and still on through the month, talking about progress and whathaveyou. So, we'll see if I can't go make any friends.
  • Current Music
    Alice Cooper - Under My Wheels (Live ft. Axl Rose & Slash)