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05 June 2009 @ 08:26 am
"The Things That I Love About Las Vegas" By Steven A. Taylor, age 12.

I like Las Vegas. I think it is a fun place to go on vacation. It is warm there and there are lots of Mexicans. I like Mexicans. Also another fun thing I like to do is look at boobs.

Boobs are awesome because you don't get to see them all the time and they give me erections when I look at them for a long time.

You can gamble in Las Vegas because gambling is legal there. It's different than at casinos around here because they're not run by Indians down there. I'm not old enough to gamble because you have to be 18 years old to gamble, but my friends say I look old for my age, so I'm gonna try to pull a fast one on the gambling police.

There are lots of old people in Las Vegas because old people have lots of money and like to spend it at Las Vegas. If I was old, I'd probably go to Las Vegas every weekend because it's so much fun.

The buildings are cool in Las Vegas. I like to walk around and look at all the casino buildings, those are the best.

You can drink alcohol in Las Vegas too, even outside! Since I look so old, I'll probably buy some alcohol and drink it outside so I can feel like an adult.

My mom said they have lots of whores in Las Vegas and that I should stay away from whores because they're dirty and have diseases. She's probably right, but if they show me their boobs I might ask if I can touch their boobs.

In conclusion, Las Vegas is great because of alcohol, gambling, and boobs. I don't know what else there is to do down there, but I know it'll be a fun weekend.
 
 
05 June 2009 @ 01:49 pm
I'm not gonna lie to you, that last entry was simulcast. Sometimes man creates something so wonderful and so true, you have to spread it out across all media, or as much media as possible. Who knows, I may turn that last entry into a Mini Podcast. A Minicast. How do I make it so I sound like a 12 year old?

I should have a 12 year old read it!

Where the hell am I going to find a 12 year old?

That is an idea, though. Dramatic Readings of Inane Journal Entries. God, if I could get Jeremy Irons to read that last entry, I'm pretty sure I could die right there.

Anyway, it's Friday, and I'm tired as fuck. I'm just trying to get through the next hour or two so I can go to happy hour, have a couple-two-three beers and relax my way through this weekend. Or drink my way, whatever.

The next 14 days, 6 hours, and 25 minutes are going to be pretty rediculous.

Come to think of it ... if I managed to write something, one might call it a dialogue between friends, and create it so it passes for "Great Radio", that could be a podcast all its own. Two characters, two jackass characters, rambling and rambling ...

It's tempting. I haven't done a podcast in, shit, going on two months now. I wonder what the odds are ...

OK, I just sent off an e-mail. We'll see if we can't go Las Vegas + Podcast = Supreme Awesomeness To The Max.

What was I talking about? Shit, got to go handle some work, be our bee.

OK I'm back.

I'm spacing out.

I'm back.

I'm spacing out.